The final cut from Long Distance Voyager by The Moody Blues, along with its two preceding songs, are among my all-time favorites. They reflect the internal turmoil of a performer. However, they are also reflective of struggles I am confident we all wrestle with, at least from time to time. No doubt this series of recordings influenced my creation of Chameleon, which describes a person who changes colors to fit into various social situations.
For many years I described my musical affinity as the “Veteran Cosmic Rocker.” Even today, I can relate to keeping a smiling face and demeanor as I struggle with so many new challenges in my life. I invite you to read the lyrics and listen to the combined YouTube video.
Painted Smile
I can sing, I can dance Just give me a chance To do my turn for you There's a chance I'll slip But with stiff upper lip I'll sing my song for you Laughter is free But it's so hard to be a jester all the time And no one's believing I'm the same when I'm bleeding And I hurt all the time deep inside I've shed a tear for the lying While everyday trying To paint this smile for you Backflips, cartwheeling, somersault feelings What is there left to do? Laughter is free But it's so hard for me, a jester all the time No one's believing I'm the same when I'm bleeding And I hurt all the time deep inside Roll up, roll up, enjoy the show Pick me up, wind me up, put me down You'll see me go And this painted smile May miss for a while Then come back and steal your show I sing, I dance Give me a chance to do my turn for you With backflips, cartwheeling, somersault feelings What's there left to do? Laughter is free But it's so hard to be a jester all the time No one's believing I'm the same when I'm bleeding And I hurt all the time deep inside Laughter is free But it's so hard to be a jester all the time No one's believing I'm the same when I'm bleeding And I hurt all the time deep inside
Reflective Smile
Your painted smile hides you still While you search yourself within Yesterday and tomorrow's found Fused as one upon solid ground As all around the milling crowd Confuse themselves with raging sounds And their loves forgetfulness abounds So be thankful for your greasepaint-clown If loneliness wears the crown of the Veteran Cosmic Rocker
Veteran Cosmic Rocker
The lights go down, the stage is set The man in the wings breaks out in sweat A backstage joker spiked his coke While the dressing room was full of smoke A crowd of fools got him high He's afraid he's gonna die He's the apple of their eye He steps into the remaining light Crowd go wild, he's out of sight Arms held high in the sign of peace His manager signed the one night lease The house is full getting high He's afraid he's gonna die He's the apple of their eye He's the Veteran Cosmic Rocker He steps into the remaining light The crowd go wild, he's out of sight Arms held high in the sign of peace His manager signed the one night lease The house is full getting high He's afraid he's gonna die He's the apple of their eye He's the Veteran Cosmic Rocker He's afraid that he will die
Moody Blues: Painted Smile~Reflective Smile~Veteran Cosmic Rocker video
Can you relate to these words? Do you like the music?
I played an open mic at West Music Thursday night. The most difficult aspect of performing is to calm my nerves. Past that, I must channel the situations and feelings that prompted me to write the songs at all. Focus. Keep within the words and music. Forget about the audience, though not completely. Eye contact. An occasional nod. A smile. Get my fingers to hold and pluck the strings. How do I get through a cramping hand? But I have to focus on the words.
These are only some of the challenges as I work on this major effort of my new life. Fear. Doubt. Sadness. Guilt. Expectation. You get the idea. It’s no wonder that performers are torn between their personal lives and their public personas. Supposedly, we have gifts. But they come at a cost. Just like everything else in all of our lives. Sometimes we are gifted. Sometimes we make choices. Regardless, we deal with them. Sometimes in the open, sometimes behind the veil of a smile, like the “grease-paint clown.”