I started writing songs to “girls” back in high school, and to a special girlfriend in college. I even took the poem my ex-wife and I chose for our wedding, put it to original music, and debuted it at our wedding reception. That marriage didn’t last. But when the little ones came along, curious fingers got in the way too often and I put my guitar away for years. Fast forward to my years as a college instructor, after selling my business and purchasing my Yairi. Something clicked, and the music and song began to flow.
The recordings below are demo grade at best. I record them at home and, though I am a technically oriented person, I have had difficulty understanding the hardware and software used in the recording industry. Hopefully, my work and my recordings are of a quality that allow the listener to enjoy.
COPYRIGHT NOTICE:
My music is free to anyone who wants to listen, download, copy, or share freely. HOWEVER: If you are interested in any recording or covers of my music, particularly if you plan to sell or distribute them for gain, you may not do so without contacting wutjavia@gmail.com to establish and execute agreement terms. It’s that simple. Please respect my art as you would want me to respect yours. Thank you.
Catching Up On Life
An album I recorded in 2013, Catching Up on Life, contains a mix of experiential and emotional compositions developed over the prior seven years. The title, Catching Up on Life, reflects the fact that many of the songs are outpourings of long held thoughts and feelings that began to flow during that period of time.
The listing order has been updated to match the order released on the CD. The songs Lolo Pass, Old Abodes and Broken Highways, A Song of Faith, and Bad Habit Creatures have been added to the site to complete the production.
- Chameleon
- Lolo Pass
- Behold – Psalm 133
- Heart of Logic (Ode to John Nash)
- Old Abodes and Broken Highways
- Tell Elizabeth I Love Her
- A Song of Faith
- The Song I Never Wrote for You
- Parkersburg
- Need to Love You, Instrumental, 12-String
- Bad Habit Creatures
Unreleased Songs
The Song I Never Wrote for You
So I said to myself “Self, why have you not written a song for your wife, the love of your life?” After a dozen years of marriage, I realized that I couldn’t write much without first honoring my wife with a song. Pam was working out of the house at the time, so I worked on the song whenever I could. I wanted it polished when I finally sang it to her because I knew I’d have a difficult time getting through it without breaking down. Sure enough, when the time came, we both were bawling! It was one of the best moments of my life. I’d brought my thoughts, feelings, and talents together to express my love for Pam. How could it be better.
(Coda)
The song I never wrote for you
You’re the one I’ll always love
No more fears of songs abandoned
Brought together from above
For other women I have written
I thought their love I’d always see
It’s not the songs that caused the leaving
T’was partly them and partly me
(Refrain)
Pamela Sue I love your smile
My heart is happy when you do
Your eyes are gleaming when you see me
I always know your love is true
You treat others better than yourself
Thinking more of them than you
A gentle woman with no guile
That’s why I love you Pamela Sue
(Refrain)
Day by day I watch you growing
You learn to love just who you are
Let me say how much I love you
Where you’ve been and where you are
(Refrain)
Now we’re together every night
Sharing secrets no others know
Days unfettered yet one forever
Loving you is my delight
(Refrain)
That’s why I wrote this song for you
And my love I hope you’ll see
I’ll never have to write another
With you I know my life’s complete
(Refrain)
(Coda)
Tell Elizabeth I Love Her
This is the second song I wrote after my musical awakening. I do admit that I toned down my emotions during the recordings. A friend suggested that I was playing with too much intensity. I add it here in conjunction with Liz’s 40th Birthday. Check out the associated post.
Tell Elizabeth I love her For I fear she’ll never know All the ways I tried to reach her Water over dams has flowed More than miles separate us A veil thru which we fail to see The love that must be deep inside us Now just echoes what could be Tell Elizabeth I love her A message sent but not received What I should have done I didn’t Not enough her heart to see Words and places harsh reminders Surface scars new wounds to bleed Cold looks, black stares, and the silence Old wounds are haunting memories Tell Elizabeth I love her Never understanding why Walls erected separate us She walked away on the other side Child’s death, a parent’s nightmare Children’s lives a parent’s dream By her choice, her distant absence I feel the torment in between Tell Elizabeth I love her If you see her walking there Years do pass without her sensing Her heart is knowing that I care Tell Elizabeth I love her For I fear she’ll never know All the ways I tried to reach her Water over dams has flowed
Papa Bear
Ode to Scott Weiss
We didn’t think about it long ago
It didn’t seem important then
We’d rather contemplate the universe
Bahgavad Gita, drugs, and Zen
Answers didn’t come too easily
Haunting questions lingered on
What is life and how to live it
Was the answer in the stars
What is left we know as friendship
A bond that’s not just thin-skin deep
And though we went our separate ways – and distant
A living kinship we did keep
One day I went and found religion
He didn’t follow far behind
Though mainly drowning in the deep end
To our faults we both stayed blind –
because we knew
We’d heard and seen it all together
We tried so many ways to find
That missing link so deep inside us
We fill with love and peace in kind
What is left we know as friendship
A bond that’s not just thin-skin deep
And though we went our separate ways – and distant
A living kinship we did keep
Now he’s gone on his new journey
Now we know it comes too soon
What he left behind – loving family, friends, and time
For us to ponder what he’s found
When will we follow where he’s gone before
And see the things that he now sees
All questions answered – his spirit free
Yet our friendship still is bound
What is left we know as friendship
A bond that’s not just thin-skin deep
And though we went our separate ways – and distant
A living kinship we did keep
Thank you God for loving family
Thank you God for lasting friends
Thank you for the things we’ve heard and seen
For what we are – not what we thought to be
Humbly see the truths we longed for
Now we grasp and hold so dear
Keep us safe within Your presence
Freed from sadness, pain, and fear
What is left we know as friendship
A bond that’s not just thin-skin deep
And though we went our separate ways – and distant
A living kinship we did keep
Copyright (c)
Parkersburg
In anticipation of a backpacking trip to Glacier National Park, I ordered a new Pentax DSLR camera body from a store in Cedar Falls Iowa. I was informed of its arrival on May 24, 2008. An EF-5 tornado struck the Parkersburg/New Hartford area on May 25th. I went to Cedar Falls on the 26th, passing some of the end of the damage path as it crossed I-380 north of there. So I loaded my lens and took back road West toward Parkersburg. I was so impacted by what I saw that I wrote this song within days of the experience. One of my teaching colleagues is from Parkersburg. She lost an aunt to the storm and other relatives gathered at her parents’ farm because their own homes in town were heavily damaged or gone. I played the song for her. She was impressed with the outsider’s experience described in the lyrics.
Is there something I can tell you? Is there something you can see? To make sense of such destruction Total splintering of trees Smoke-filled air, the smoldering Farm houses, barns and fields Cold stones of the graveyards Devastation that you feel Angry winds blown through Parkersburg Nature knows no boundaries One house gone, another stands Won’t you help the wounded please? Dazed people sift thru ruins Generations’ memories gone One split second changes everything Now there’s little left of home Ridge lines, hedges, tender seedlings Ripped to pieces, no more seen Distant neighbors find mementos “Thank you God it wasn’t me” Angry winds blown through Parkersburg Nature knows no boundaries One house gone, another stands Won’t you help the wounded please? Neighbors come from near and far Trucks and vans and some in cars Bit by bit the piles grow Debris from lives up rooted Gaping mouths in safety wonder Should we stop – our help to offer? Or head for home and praying ponder Good wishes to the victims go Starting over, our destiny’s at hand Build a new elsewhere or in Parkersburg make our stand But what of the memories Family photos, our things? Nothing replaces Love letters and our rings What would you do If this happened to you? Would you accept assistance? Or would you say you’re through? Angry winds blown through Parkersburg Nature knows no boundaries One house gone, another stands Won’t you help the wounded please? Angry winds blown through Parkersburg Nature knows no boundaries One house gone, another stands Won’t you help the wounded please? Copyright (c)
Chameleon
Pleasing others trusting none Never feel you give your all Always one step from a fall Chameleon Jack of some trades, mastering none Reds and purples hide your fear Talk a good game for all to hear Chameleon Set the contrast, watch in awe Ways of coping keep your law How the others look at you Different colors showing through Browns and Greens among the trees Hiding colors no one knows Love by all your deeper need Chameleon Blues and yellows mixing hues Uneven patterns blend with ease Wanting friends yet not pursued Chameleon Set the contrast, watch in awe Ways of coping keep your law How the others look at you Different colors showing through Chameleon, Chameleon In the end it’s only you Changing colors never done Chameleon Set the contrast, watch in awe Ways of coping keep your law How the others look at you Different colors showing through Copyright (c)
Behold – Psalm 133
Behold how good and how pleasant it is For people (Brethren) to dwell together in unity It is like the precious ointment upon the head That ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard That went down to the skirts of his garments Behold how good and how pleasant it is For people (Brethren) to dwell together in unity As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended Upon the mountains of Zion for there the Lord commanded The blessing, even life forevermore Behold how good and how pleasant it is For people (Brethren) to dwell together in unity
Heart of Logic (Ode to John Nash)
This is one of those songs that I wrote in one night, as a result of watching the movie A Beautiful Mind starring Russell Crowe, not one of my favorite actors, but he did a great job in this one, and Jennifer Connelly who is one of my favorites. I highly recommend the movie! It is the story of John and Alicia Nash. He suffered from Schizophrenia and still managed to win a Nobel Prize in Economics.
I had seen it several time prior, but was so moved that night in 2009 that I couldn’t get to bed without addressing my thoughts and feelings. Heart of Logic (Ode to John Nash) is the result.
(I am aware of a lyrical mistake made while recording. The lyrics shown below are correct)
Listen to the whispers Who’s behind that tree? Friends or foes surrounding Am I talking just to me? Ever present with me Am I awake or it’s a dream Can I overcome them? What’s reality? (Ref) I see visions I hear sounds Thoughts and feelings Tied up in logic I am bound Tied up in logic I am bound Spirits tease and taunt me Work to bend me to their will When I’m sitting or I’m walking My mind is never still Should I listen should I follow? Do I question what is real? Playing on my heartstrings Do I have the strength of will? (Ref) Hopes and dreams may vanish Are they based in mind-made lies? Can I still be useful? If my heart insists I try? Is it all for nothing? Though the truth I choose to keep Reality or made up Will my heart within me sleep? (Ref) Daily I’ll do battle To quiet inner fears Keep the voices silent Reality I hear Joyful in the triumph A part of human kind Taming all my demons Heart of logic in my mind (Ref) x 2
Need to Love You, Instrumental, 12-String
Lolo Pass
Al Boren, a friend and fellow musician, suggested I travel over Lolo Pass on my way from Missoula MT to Hells Canyon. And so I did. There was a ranger station off to the left, a road ahead, and a right turn. Turning West, the first thing I noticed was a sign indicating winding road – for the next 77 miles!
A tune formed in my mind and I began to whistle it over and over again as I wound my way down through the canyon. Near the end of it I stopped to write about my experience traveling along this amazing landscape. Just off the road, next to the mountain stream, I saw a single dead pine tree towering alone next to the water, an eagle’s nest at the top. What I wrote became the words to the song. The music a manifestation of the song in my head.
Westward from Lolo Pass Through the misty trees the Spirit goes Fingered canyon clutch the river flow Eagle soar the canyon breeze Hovering, all the valley sees Valley touch cloudless sky Winding long by melted mountain snow Gleaming, glistening with an endless song On to desert land and sea Spirit soar, all nature free Shadows lift, sorrow dies Endless road along the water winds Etched beneath the chiseled mountain side Feelings’ freedom need not hide Living life that’s meant to be Fir-lined slopes to steep to see Forest pines to them can barely cling Rooted as to skin their warmth to bring Paws of wild untamed beasts Secure in knowing they are free Westward from Lolo Pass Through the misty trees the Spirit goes Fingered canyon clutch the river flow Eagle soar the canyon breeze Hovering, all the valley sees
Old Abodes and Broken Highways
As the lyrics suggest, this song is the result of a recurring, disturbing dream I kept having several years ago, though it no longer haunts me. The broken highways are actually elevated flyovers and bridges in the Dallas TX area where I used to drive to visit my parents. I thought it so strange that they would construct these highways but end them mid-air, leading nowhere. Somehow they made it into my dreams and ultimately to this song.
In my dreams, they keep occurring Familiar highways of long ago Confused and needing some direction Fade to distant ends unknown (Refrain) Old abodes and broken highways In my mind, yet out of sight Could it be the lost and lonely Calling out in pain at night? Streets with people in confusion Wishing somewhere else to be Buildings filled with those in peril Tenement faces stare out at me Feeling strangers’ eyes upon me Steps toward me from behind Walking swift to no safe doorway Good or ill inside I’ll find (Refrain) Friendly faces now distorted Out of place in rooms unknown Broken doors and walls and stairways Fit for no one to call home Startled, Frightened I awaken Gloom and shadows fill my head Should I rise and plan for changes or on my pillow, sleep instead? (Refrain x2)
A Song of Faith
Several years ago, I had an opportunity to play music with my brother-in-law Randy, his nephew, and a host of family backup singers at a family holiday gathering. Randy played a modern version of Amazing Grace, showed me the chords, and suggested I write a song using them. So I did.
When I listen I can hear You Softly on the breeze It brings me to my knees When I hear You As I look for I can see You Earth and sky and seas It brings me to my knees When I see You (1st chorus) When I hear You When I see You When I feel you all around I want to be with You Though You see me As I am Your love for me is free It brings me to my knees That You see me When I call You You always listen As I cry my pleas It brings me to my knees When You listen (2nd chorus) When You see me When You hear me I want more and more of You Holy Spirit, fill me So many times I falter I separate You from me I look away I lose my way Lord forgive me please (3rd chorus) When You see me When You hear me When I feel You all around It brings me to my knees
Bad Habit Creatures
My protest song, and typically a finale to my musical presentations. Along with my take on western societies, it includes references to climate change along with frustrations over mine, and our, disregard for our planet. Ultimately, the song suggests, we might destroy ourselves as we try to live forever in a perfect world.
The world is thirsty, its water I waste The people are hungry, my food salted to taste Left over portions, abundance is mine Drought-stricken wheat fields yet I drink aged wine Bad habit creatures, the sons of mankind Propelled always forward, leave others behind Ignoring each other, and the fruit of the earth Leaving our offspring, a world naught but dearth The world is angry, we don’t perceive why Our people live fast, as we watch so many die Climate changing, is it man, seas not fit for life North pacific floating plastic, ice caps melting, none are lasting Bad habit creatures, the sons of mankind Propelled always forward, leave others behind Ignoring each other, and the fruit of the earth Leaving our offspring, a world naught but dearth Instrumental What’s the answer, is it conservation? Key to man’s survival, fittest change for situations Soon day that all will thirst, no water fit to taste Food to nourish, dead and trampled, we must fix it or be laid waste Bad habit creatures, the sons of mankind Propelled always forward, leave others behind Ignoring each other, and the fruit of the earth Leaving our offspring, a world naught but dearth