There It Sits…

What was once Pam’s phenomenal stamping and crafting room is now a recording studio waiting for an artist to put it to use. That be me. The concept to transform the space developed over time as I knew that the hundreds of stamps, pens, inks, punches, papers, and accessories could not remain there forever. I walked by it every day and, as I began practicing my music again and resolved to follow through with the dream of performing on the road (now without Pam), it seemed fitting to repurpose the area to assist in that endeavor. So I methodically packed up Pam’s amazing talent/hobby, the tools of her ambassadorship of love, careful to log the contents of each box in hopes that others will carry on her good works.

Meanwhile I have spent little time in the studio. What I thought, as a technically minded person, would be relatively easy to figure out, I find confusing and, so far, beyond my understanding. Recording with a mixer is a language I have yet to master. I can’t seem to get all this equipment to do what I want it to do. Then again, I probably haven’t given it enough concentrated attention.

The winter holidays are now upon us presenting another set of emotional challenges the depths of which I could not comprehend, nor was I prepared. Much of my energy is spent balancing the joy of celebrating time, food, and gifts with family and friends, with profound feelings of sadness and loss for Pam’s absence during the times she loved the most. Consequently, there sits the recording studio. I just don’t have the energy to make it happen right now.

Soon comes a time of hibernation after the travel and celebrations of the holidays. January, February, and probably into March there will be ample time to learn and do. More goals that help me make it through the hours and days of my grieving. Working toward a reinvented life. However, I am not sitting completely idle. I continue to practice my music daily. I even have (those who know me, don’t laugh too hard) a spreadsheet to keep track of which songs I practice each day to help me stay on task for polishing the many songs I want to master before embarking on an actual minstrel’s road trip.

I’m trying to keep the dream alive. Sometimes even that’s an effort which is more difficult than I think it should be. I continue to play for – whoever I can talk into listening. I had “business” cards printed and have begun handing them out, though mostly to acquaintances so far. And I continue to blog. Thank you for your continued interest and feedback for both my music and my posts.

So be on the lookout in the early months of 2023. I still plan to “drop” songs on this website for you to listen, share, and critique (not that I’ll listen to that 😉 ). As you might perceive from the cards, I plan to direct potential venues here to sample, and maybe even book some gigs.

Just last weekend a friend reminded me of the importance of following through with my dreams, in part to help me get through this time of grief and emotional pain. But also as part of the healing, knowing that, though Pam isn’t here to share the experience, she would want me to go for it. The recording studio won’t just sit there. It can’t. I will honor Pam and myself by making this happen.

(Seems like I might be writing and publishing this message as much to bolster my resolve, as for any other reason. If so, so be it!)