The heat has broken. It finally feels like autumn, though still no rain here. It’s been two weeks since returning from Atlanta. Home alone reality is setting in. Pam passed away nearly sixteen months ago. Apparently, life goes on.
If there is a new normal, hopefully this isn’t it. To do lists have many checked boxes. Though there is more to be done before winter sets in. Daily routines are established, varying slightly from week to week for appointments and brief getaways. But the familiarity and comfort of established norms do not stave off the sadness and ache of missing Pam, nor the sorrow of her missing out on life. In some way, it seems the intensity has grown.
So much has been written describing grief, many pictures and animations. One such depiction arrived this week in a text message.
What to make of this? Where’s the fit? If the graphic is accurate, the message true, then some point along a continuum should be recognizable. But not. Life apparently goes on, but has yet to grow big enough to assuage the pain of loss. Conversely, if grief diminishes over time, apparently life must go on a long time before it begins to smother the grief. Either way, it’s a struggle to relate.
Sometimes anger wells up amidst the sadness and sorrow. How could she be taken away?! Were we not all the better for her presence in this life? Yes, we were! Yes, we are!
On the Other Hand
Better memories of Pam are emerging as time passes. Earlier pictures are reminders of happier times. Every one depicting the beautiful person she was, a beacon of kindness and compassion. One should hope to be such a person. Though she was so loving, and so loved, she was so much better than she ever thought she was. That, too, is part of her beauty.
So all is not just gloom and doom. Life cannot be all bad (though the news sources seem to differ) when such amazing people sojourn among us. We just have to recognize their positive contributions to our lives; enjoy their nature. Live to honor their lives. Live in hope that the circle will somehow, some day, grow to comfort us, to buffer us from the pain and sorrow of our grief.
Further Reflection
All of the above was written earlier in the week. Consideration was given to tossing it all out as being too depressing. But no. It stands as is. But said again, all is not just gloom and doom! Much enjoyment comes from the home we shared, now home alone. Much joy is felt when talking to and being with family and friends. Neighbors are friendly and encouraging. Autumn is a beautiful time of year in Iowa. And though it foreshadows winter, it also holds its own beauty for us to enjoy.
Now. Here’s the test. Can you figure out the missing word in this week’s post? You may post a comment in response. Or, if you would like to submit your guess privately, send a message at wutjavia@gmail.com.
Have a great week!!! Here’s hoping for happier topics as life go on.
Well, Keith, that was annoying. A missing word? Not that you haven’t annoyed me before with some minutia…LOL, I have no time to look for it, since I’m in the middle of wedding season, but it is going to be bugging me until I find it. Thanks, buddy…keep on keeping.
Keith you write so eloquently! Hard to find a missing word but the only thing I can come up with is when you say But not. Maybe it should be But it’s not. But you know the reader always subconsciously fills in missing words! I look forward to your weekly writings.
Thank you Joan. You are a loyal follower. Yes, I purposefully leave out words I deem superfluous. But that’s not the one I was thinking of. Here’s a hint for all of you. I’ve used the word several times in my replies to your comments.
On
I assume you are responding to the test. The word “on”, though it might not be included, is not the correct answer.
As always you take your viewers on the most impactful journey of feelings and insights. I think with every bit of sharing comes a wee bit of added strength. ❤️
Missing word, at?
As always, Toni, thank you for your kind words. Nope. That’s not the word I was thinking of. And actually, there are three or four iterations of the absent word(s).