After writing the longest post in Wut Javia’s history last week, this may be one of the shortest. I don’t have anything deep or sensational to write about. So I’ll write about that.
It’s been a “normal” week. Patterns of my existence, once emerged, now are familiar routines of daily life. Sleep, wake, eat; all so ordinary. Morning meditations remain; peering at Pam’s picture, having a word or two about her smile, my love for her, how much I miss her.
Last week I considered four grieving goals, the last of which was reconstructing a faith significantly altered by loss. I said my faith was in disarray before Pam’s illness and passing, and it was. I’ve begun reading the book of Psalms. I’m told it considers the entire human condition in relationship with an almighty God. Since I feel like I’m experiencing all of those conditions, I thought it a reasonable place to start. Another attempt at establishing life after Pam.
Exercise, guitar practice, binge watching series’ on Netflix and Prime, make up much of my free time, after shopping, cleaning, accounting, etc. Really, nothing to write home about. I’m trying to wrap my mind around this new normal, consider where grief and loss fit in. Still conflicting thoughts and emotions. New normal.
How strange to have nothing to write home about. The last 10 months, in fact the last four years, have been filled with abnormality, at least for me. I know I am one of a myriad of others who suffer, and I know we all have to embrace abnormality as part of normality. But for me, it is consoling to see myself as having nothing to write home about; nothing out of the ordinary to write about. I still look forward to writing and singing about better subjects. Better times; mine, and yours.
I wish for you a normal week in which there is nothing to write home about – unless, of course, it’s great news you just have to share!
So true Keith. Grieving is hard work, and definitely exhausting. We miss our loved ones, but sometimes I think we just need a break from it. And maybe that is part of the process – that it is no longer consuming us every minute of every day. Life will never be the same, but I sometimes find that new and happier thoughts fill up some of that empty space. I guess that is a good thing. Blessings.
I’m glad you are finding a new normal, it’s a long journey, but I’ve found that creating new routines and new traditions while maintaining some special ones that you shared in the past has helped me in my journey. Although I will say that there are still some times of day, even after almost 5 years, I find hard some days.
I have a friend who always wishes me a boring life.
So enjoyed this post! I love how you can take a “nothing” and make it “something.”