New Horizons

Literally and Figuratively

The Moody Blues songs continue to affect me as I travel this Amazing Journey (The Who). Since I was a teenager who purchased his first album, To Our Children’s, Children’s Children (The Moody Blues), at the recommendation of my good friend Sam, The Moody Blues lyrics have paralleled my path in life time after time. This week was no exception.

Actually, I was searching for another song by The Moody Blues as I was driving between my new residence and my former residence (more on that later), one which I cannot remember now. I thought maybe it was on The Seventh Sojourn, not one of my favorites of their albums. Though it was not on that album, I listened to New Horizons. Once again, The Moody Blues came through with meaningful words that describe at least some of what I am thinking and feeling.

Well, I’ve had dreams enough for one
And I’ve got love enough for three
I have my hopes to comfort me
I’ve got my new horizons out to sea

But I’m never gonna lose your precious gift
It will always be that way
‘Cause I know I’m gonna find my peace of mind
Someday

Where is this place that we have found?
Nobody knows where we are bound
I long to hear, I need to see
‘Cause I’ve shed tears too many for me

But I’m never gonna lose your precious gift
It will always be that way
‘Cause I know I’m gonna find my peace of mind
Someday

On the wind, soaring free
Spread your wings, I’m beginning to see
Out of mind, far from view
Beyond the reach of the nightmare come true

Well, I’ve had dreams enough for one
And I’ve got love enough for three
I have my hopes to comfort me
I’ve got my new horizons out to sea

But I’m never gonna lose your precious gift
It will always be that way
‘Cause I know I’m gonna find my own peace of mind
Someday
Someway

David Justin Hayward

Over two plus years without my Pam, I have had to look for new beginnings, new meanings – new horizons, in hopes of leading a fulfilling remainder of my time here, and honoring the life of an amazing woman with whom I was fortunate enough to be married. I’ve struggled with feelings of loss, anger, sadness, and longing as I mourn Pam’s life lost and my life without her. Is she still in the house with me? Does she go where I go? If I make changes will she still be with me?

After over a year of contemplating a move to be closer to family, I finally made the decision to put my house on the market and move to an apartment close to my son. Literally – a new horizon!

Among my recent epiphanies is the fact that Pam is with me wherever I go. Though I am reminded by places and things, I am not dependent on them for remembering her nor staying connected. Additionally, I realized that my efforts to resurrect my music in her honor have proved to ingrain her in my playing. It’s not just when I play the songs I wrote for or about her. She is inveterate in all of my music. I constantly feel her with me as I practice and perform. What a gift!

Our world is full of complexity and doubt; doubt for our earth, doubt for our government, doubt for the safety and welfare of our children and grandchildren. I am thankful for new horizons and the hope they inspire. I am thankful for Pam’s inspiration to be all I can be, even after her passing. Another gift!

Thursday would have been Pam’s 73rd birthday. She did not quite make it to her 71st. As with other special calendar events, this one was difficult for me and other family and friends who loved her. We hate the loss. But we are also inspired to flourish in our lives because she wanted the best for us. And so she lives on.

May you find some peace of mind in this knowledge.