First Concentration Camp!
This week marked the 80th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp in Poland on January 27th, 1945. My family background and upbringing keep me painfully aware of the Nazi Holocaust. Without even having to think of it, the words of this heading came to mind.
My public and private statements reflect my angst during and since the recent presidential election. Rhetoric from our now president and his minions echoed so closely the Nazi propaganda of the 1930’s. Though I tried, I could not contain my concern.
I uttered “The first concentration camp!” out loud when I heard the news that tridiot plans to house illegal immigrants at Guantanamo Bay. Thus elevating my fear, disgust, and concern for our future as a democratic union.
We have not completely devolved into a dictatorial regime. There are many who fight by legal means. There are many who speak up and/or contribute to the cause of freedom from tyranny. As some say, “There are still some guardrails in place.”
There are nearly as many who voted against the destructive power grab. There are more who mistakenly didn’t vote their conscience. None of us know what will come of the next four years. But we cannot let this evil prevail.
That’s all I will say about this now. I didn’t want to bring it up. But I could not stay silent.
Faith Journey – Is God real in my life
I describe myself as having a complicated faith journey. Without going into too much detail, let me give some background for this topic. Until about twenty years ago I was deeply entrenched in the congregation to which I belonged. I was active in its government. Active in worship. Active in relationships. Circumstances began to change as my wife and I started to burn out from commitment. After all, we had given an abundance of time and resources.
When we moved to another city we tried to connect with what we hoped was a similar church community. We also planned to limit our involvement. That didn’t work well. We didn’t connect with people there and they never reached out to us in welcome.
I found myself searching for tangible evidence of God, and found none. I questioned His existence. I even wrote songs about my challenges of belief. When Pam fell ill, I concentrated solely on her and just put God aside. Clearly, if He existed, He wasn’t in my good graces.
After her death, I began to wonder again whether God is real. My logical mind can’t wrap around the concept of an all-knowing, all-creating sentient being. A benevolent yet demanding lord.
Yet I wanted to believe. I still do. I clearly had in the past. There is some comfort in knowing a gracious God who watches over me and mine, who knows what’s happening to mankind (nod to the first topic), and will somehow, some day, make it right.
Recent twists and turns in my life lead me to try once again to reconnect with God. I’ve even been praying a little. I’m attending different churches in hopes of making fresh connection. Though I question the very nature of the God to which I direct my prayers. Yet I hope. I hope my prayers are heard. I hope God loves us. I hope for good things.
I won’t go into any religious dogma or doctrines. Nor will I try to parse the Bible for any reason. Let alone to twist it to my whims. I won’t, in this space, argue the socio-political issues and stances that are shaping our world today.
What I want, what I need, is to understand how God is in my life. I need to recognize His presence. I need some evidence. All the while knowing that believing requires faith. The hope is for things we can’t see. And I’m not talking about heaven or hell. I’m talking about life here on this earth!
I suspect these words will evoke many differing opinions on belief in God. I am aware that my readers believe in different forms of, or faith in God. Some may want to save me or correct my errant ways. Not my problem. Those with true compassion and empathy can accept who I am and where I am in my faith journey.
So comment if you will. But I hope you will be understanding and kind. I suspect I am not the only one with shaken belief. Not the only one with doubts welling up due to personal circumstances and our human condition.
I guess I’ve said my piece. Laid it out for you to “see.” I hope it’s not a mistake. Amen!