Month: February 2025

Drivers Beware – There Is Hope!

The Complaint:

To say that I am susceptible to road rage is an overstatement. Or it is an understatement. It might depend on the day and my mood. It also depends on how many STUPID drivers I perceive on the highways and byways. Either way, I am frustrated by those who ignore simple common courtesies or are just totally inept at driving.

I’ve talked about my pet peeve of not using turn signals. Recently, I have twice been behind drivers whose vehicles turned left across a boulevard median. The rear end of their vehicles stuck out into traffic while waiting. There was ample room to fit them clear of both traffic directions. Really?!

Other frustrations include these dangerous and/or maddening things. Driving far slower than the flow of traffic and well below the posted speed limit. Driving way faster than the flow of traffic and well above the posted speed limit. The latter yahoos often change lanes directly in front of the cars they pass. Of course without engaging that long-armed toggle situated on the steering column either right or left of the steering wheel. Yep – the turn signal! Then there are also those who choose to drive in the leftmost lane until within braking distance of a right turn or exit. Often without signally, they swoop across traffic disrupting the flow, and the concentration of other drivers.

Among the most egregious lapses in judgment is causing damage to one’s vehicle in a parking lot. It is inconsiderate and irresponsible to then just walk or drive away! I have a one inch roundish ding in the right rear panel of my otherwise pristine Honda as an example.

I’m not sure what people think when they do such things. Accidents are bound to happen. Things break. Spills – spill. Wind catches a car door before one can properly grab it. Or the wind is just too strong. I get it. It’s what a person does when accidents happen that reveals their character. Pick up the pieces of glass from the floor. Offer to buy a replacement. Vacuum the carpet. Soak up the spill. Apologize at least! Certainly don’t walk away from an accident of any kind!

The Hope:

Thursday evening we met another couple at John and Nick’s Steak and Prime Rib. I’ve been there twice. I had the prime rib the first time. It was excellent! Thursday night’s special was a 40 oz Tomahawk Ribeye. I chose a crab-stuffed Tilapia. It, too, was excellent.

Well, anyway (shout out to Glenda 🙂 ), returning to my car on the slick sidewalk and still partially covered parking lot, I found a handwritten note tucked into the driver’s door handle.

I’m so sorry – When backing up, I started to slide and tapped the back of your car. My husband is home with the sick baby right now or I would try to come find you inside. Please let me know if any damage. Rachel J******* xxx-xxx-xxxx

Oh crap! Run (carefully in the slush) around to the back of the car. Can’t see anything. Check the driver’s side. Still nothing. Then I decided it was too dark to see. I’d have to look in the morning. Then I got into the car. And started to cry!

I said to Cathy, “I am so overwhelmed that someone actually took responsibility. I don’t think I can ask her to pay even if there is damage!”

All the memories of rocks thrown by others’ tires. The scratches and dents left by others in my many vehicles through the years. All angst and frustration melted away. The knowledge that this young woman took the time. She made the effort in the cold. She had the decency to take responsibility for her actions.

I’ve owned my problem with other drivers. I try hard to avoid it. Yet, I still swear and yell at them for the stupid (at least in my view) ways they try to drive. Now I have more reason to work on my attitude deficiency. Thank you, Rachel, for giving me reason to reevaluate myself. For giving me a renewed hope.

By the way. The only sign of the “tap” was some road grime and salt from the winter weather rubbed off. No harm, no foul. Yet Rachel made a difference. I will be texting her with a message of thanks and a link to this post. She deserves an answer.

Happy Pounds

Happy Pounds

I have gained weight. It seemed gradual. Yet it only took about six months to gain ten pounds! I met someone about the time I moved. Well, we knew each other way back when. So we actually reconnected last summer. Since that time we have grown a deep friendship and romance. It is good!

Apparently, I suffered from a grief diet before that. At least I must have eaten differently. I suppose meals for one and restaurant leftovers were kind to my middle. And I was exercising – a lot! Exercise was an escape. Or rather, provided me with time to think and work through my grief. Walking was a mindless task. Leaving me ample cognitive space.

Since last summer my partner and I spend more time enjoying various activities. We sip coffee, cook meals, and sit for hours talking and laughing. And we enjoy desserts – a lot! I call them happy pounds because I am happier now than I have been for a very long time!

Consequences

It’s a lethal combination. More food, less exercise. Though laughing is good for the countenance, it doesn’t burn many calories. And not just any calories. Sweets! Wonderful sugar-filled frozen cream with plenty of chocolate, fudge, caramel, and – did I mention cream?

Consequently, the pounds. A bit of a rounder face. The tighter fit of pants and shirts. The grimace when looking in the mirror. It’s bad enough to see the aging face, the wider body, the age spots, the wrinkles. And now the mass!

But it’s not just that. It’s a feeling. A little sluggish. Heavier breathing when going up the stairs. It may be my imagination, but I think I can feel it in my muscles and joints. I am still working on a few medical issues that I ignored while caring for my wife. I worry that I might be compounding those problems by ignoring how I eat!

All Things In Moderation

I wasn’t eating poorly before. I vastly changed the proportion of vegetables to red meat. I ate more fruits and drank less alcohol. I have continued that trend. I have not, though, decreased portions nor paid attention to the extra not-so-good foods I’ve added to my diet.

About a week ago, my partner got a wake up call, so to speak. Without any detail, suffice it to say that a change in diet is needed. And I don’t want her to do it alone. Nor will the changes be bad for me.

For the first time in my life I am seriously reading nutrition labels. Fats, carbs, sugars. Even vitamins! I’ve always been a “calculator.” Now I direct some of that energy to meal planning. Healthy proteins. Fewer carbs. Plenty of fiber. It looks like this:

The pamphlet is from NovoCare, an educational branch of Novo Nordisk. I know it’s probably big Pharma, but at least it’s educational. Here is the complete PDF document to download:

booklet-planning-healthy-mealsDownload

I’ve lost two pounds in a week! Most of the loss is from not eating sugary, calorie-laden desserts. But making better food choices and eating in moderation are essential to a healthy diet. I have always told people that almost anything is okay in moderation. Don’t eat too much. Don’t drink too much or often. Okay, just DON’T smoke!

All things in moderation. And for those of you who are of a younger generation, it’s better to realize it now. Don’t wait for time to knock some sense into you. It may be too late!

Compelling Topic

I have been writing this blog for five years now. Consistently for the last three. I have told you about some of my deepest pains, fears, and frustrations. All with the recognition and hope that you, my faithful readers, can relate to my joy and suffering. Or at least empathize with me. My hope is to enlighten and educate. And for us all to enjoy the writing and the reading. I have the same intent with this message.

Be well!

Not In Silence Do I Sit

First Concentration Camp!

This week marked the 80th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp in Poland on January 27th, 1945. My family background and upbringing keep me painfully aware of the Nazi Holocaust. Without even having to think of it, the words of this heading came to mind.

My public and private statements reflect my angst during and since the recent presidential election. Rhetoric from our now president and his minions echoed so closely the Nazi propaganda of the 1930’s. Though I tried, I could not contain my concern.

I uttered “The first concentration camp!” out loud when I heard the news that tridiot plans to house illegal immigrants at Guantanamo Bay. Thus elevating my fear, disgust, and concern for our future as a democratic union.

We have not completely devolved into a dictatorial regime. There are many who fight by legal means. There are many who speak up and/or contribute to the cause of freedom from tyranny. As some say, “There are still some guardrails in place.”

There are nearly as many who voted against the destructive power grab. There are more who mistakenly didn’t vote their conscience. None of us know what will come of the next four years. But we cannot let this evil prevail.

That’s all I will say about this now. I didn’t want to bring it up. But I could not stay silent.

Faith Journey – Is God real in my life

I describe myself as having a complicated faith journey. Without going into too much detail, let me give some background for this topic. Until about twenty years ago I was deeply entrenched in the congregation to which I belonged. I was active in its government. Active in worship. Active in relationships. Circumstances began to change as my wife and I started to burn out from commitment. After all, we had given an abundance of time and resources.

When we moved to another city we tried to connect with what we hoped was a similar church community. We also planned to limit our involvement. That didn’t work well. We didn’t connect with people there and they never reached out to us in welcome.

I found myself searching for tangible evidence of God, and found none. I questioned His existence. I even wrote songs about my challenges of belief. When Pam fell ill, I concentrated solely on her and just put God aside. Clearly, if He existed, He wasn’t in my good graces.

After her death, I began to wonder again whether God is real. My logical mind can’t wrap around the concept of an all-knowing, all-creating sentient being. A benevolent yet demanding lord.

Yet I wanted to believe. I still do. I clearly had in the past. There is some comfort in knowing a gracious God who watches over me and mine, who knows what’s happening to mankind (nod to the first topic), and will somehow, some day, make it right.

Recent twists and turns in my life lead me to try once again to reconnect with God. I’ve even been praying a little. I’m attending different churches in hopes of making fresh connection. Though I question the very nature of the God to which I direct my prayers. Yet I hope. I hope my prayers are heard. I hope God loves us. I hope for good things.

I won’t go into any religious dogma or doctrines. Nor will I try to parse the Bible for any reason. Let alone to twist it to my whims. I won’t, in this space, argue the socio-political issues and stances that are shaping our world today.

What I want, what I need, is to understand how God is in my life. I need to recognize His presence. I need some evidence. All the while knowing that believing requires faith. The hope is for things we can’t see. And I’m not talking about heaven or hell. I’m talking about life here on this earth!

I suspect these words will evoke many differing opinions on belief in God. I am aware that my readers believe in different forms of, or faith in God. Some may want to save me or correct my errant ways. Not my problem. Those with true compassion and empathy can accept who I am and where I am in my faith journey.

So comment if you will. But I hope you will be understanding and kind. I suspect I am not the only one with shaken belief. Not the only one with doubts welling up due to personal circumstances and our human condition.

I guess I’ve said my piece. Laid it out for you to “see.” I hope it’s not a mistake. Amen!