Month: July 2024

Life on Earth

While visiting family I find myself not only in different surroundings, but with different stimuli while on an elevated deck contemplating the universe.

My first encounters were with subtropical weather. High humidity, higher heat, the build up of rain-filled clouds during afternoons and evenings, sometimes precipitating overnight. Everything is lush and green, not unlike home, but in the hills of Georgia, tall trees are prevalent, reaching for the comforting embrace of the firmament, surrounding the houses and streets, hiding much of the sky that I normally see at home.

As I looked up between the towering foliage I saw the sky – our atmosphere – in a way that I don’t remember realizing before. Like a 60-mile thick blanket it warms us. It cools us, nourishes us, and protects us from external universal forces that would otherwise make life on earth impossible.

As the building, billowing clouds mixed with the azure sky framed in tall pine and tulip trees, I somehow understood our earthly blanket’s lifegiving significance. At the same time I felt that it, as other living beings on earth, is threatened by how humanity treats this unique, amazing phenomenon. It left me simultaneously in awe and in fear.

Returning to the deck on another afternoon, life touched me in a very different way. A dragonfly landed in a potted orange tree next to me. I was struck not only by its beauty, but also by the complexity of its body, by its wing structure, transparent and framed in blue , and the attachment to its torso. Its eyes and mouth (basically its face) conjured human-like attributes. What an amazing being. What an amazing manifestation of life on earth!

When I moved it flew, only to return in seconds to the same or nearby branch, staring at me and I at it. So I spoke to it. It seemed to nod in understanding as I expressed my appreciation of its beauty and life force. Again it flew. Again it returned. I decided to approach it directly from ahead. I extended my hand. It stayed. I touched its hair-thin black legs. It stayed until I tried to lift them in hopes of having it transfer to my finger. It flew.

Walking away to the other end of the deck I felt so in touch with life on earth. I thought, wouldn’t it be wonderful to become so aware and connected to life on this earth that, in the end, I would simply fade away into it, mixing my energy with the plants and animals, the air and the sky. Finally, I would be one with life on earth. Maybe I already am.

Chivalry

As in the Age of Chivalry, whether in love or war, respect, compassion, and politeness are honorable traits we all could benefit from now.

“Chivalry is/isn’t dead.” I’ve thought about these cliches many times throughout my life when opening doors, especially for women, letting people in line at the checkout or passing lane, or responding with respect to people in authority, those older than I (I know, they are getting harder to find), and, actually, people in general. But also when reacting to those who do the opposite or fail to be respectful of others.

My regular readers recognize that I often quote Webster’s Dictionary when defining words I include in my posts:

as in gallantry

speech or behavior that is honorable and polite

Gentlemen who were lucky enough to gain invites to the state dinner are expected to act with the finest chivalry.

In an act of rare chivalry, the driver allowed several cars stopped at a “yield” sign to go ahead

I was reminded when I looked up chivalry on Google that its origins are quite different:

the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.

  • HISTORICAL knights, noblemen, and horsemen collectively. “I fought against the cream of French chivalry”
  • the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.

Cambridge Dictionary has it this way:

very polite, honest, and kind behavior, especially by men toward women.

the system of behavior followed by knights in the medieval period of history, that put a high value on honor, kindness, and courage: the age of chivalry.

I was talking with a friend the other night who recently lost her husband rather abruptly after a short illness. She was talking about how her late husband took care of the lawn, bushes, and household maintenance and that she would have to learn to be more independently “handy” now. I immediately thought of chivalry. Here’s how she described him:

[His] love language was service – always making sure everything was working correctly, fixing and making improvements for his family and our renters. I know from experience that not all men have this quality. But he certainly did.

Many of you who read this understand that, right or wrong, we were brought up this way. In fact, we are probably the last generation to embrace a chivalrous philosophy. It’s not even a conscious attitude, although sometimes I worry that those for whom I am opening a door might think it a misogynistic act.

Things began to change during our formative years in the ’60’s and ’70’s. Women’s liberation and free – almost everything – began reshaping social norms. Don’t get me wrong. I am completely on board with love and equality for everyone. But I contend that chivalry should NOT be dead! Rather, it should also be equal for men and women. Its actions are out of respect, honor, and politeness regardless of its origins and changes in social norms.

Personally, I am proud when I act chivalrously. Once again I go back to my basic rule – treat others the way you want to be treated. As in the Age of Chivalry, whether in love or war, respect, compassion, and politeness are honorable traits we all could benefit from now.

May it be so!

P.S. As I was opening the outer door to the building vestibule with a cart full of boxes and totes from my previous house. I noticed two girls, maybe 10 or 11, in the main building hallway. One looked over at me. Upon opening the inner door, she came toward me and asked if she could hold the door for me.

Maybe it is so!

New Horizons

Literally and Figuratively

The Moody Blues songs continue to affect me as I travel this Amazing Journey (The Who). Since I was a teenager who purchased his first album, To Our Children’s, Children’s Children (The Moody Blues), at the recommendation of my good friend Sam, The Moody Blues lyrics have paralleled my path in life time after time. This week was no exception.

Actually, I was searching for another song by The Moody Blues as I was driving between my new residence and my former residence (more on that later), one which I cannot remember now. I thought maybe it was on The Seventh Sojourn, not one of my favorites of their albums. Though it was not on that album, I listened to New Horizons. Once again, The Moody Blues came through with meaningful words that describe at least some of what I am thinking and feeling.

Well, I’ve had dreams enough for one
And I’ve got love enough for three
I have my hopes to comfort me
I’ve got my new horizons out to sea

But I’m never gonna lose your precious gift
It will always be that way
‘Cause I know I’m gonna find my peace of mind
Someday

Where is this place that we have found?
Nobody knows where we are bound
I long to hear, I need to see
‘Cause I’ve shed tears too many for me

But I’m never gonna lose your precious gift
It will always be that way
‘Cause I know I’m gonna find my peace of mind
Someday

On the wind, soaring free
Spread your wings, I’m beginning to see
Out of mind, far from view
Beyond the reach of the nightmare come true

Well, I’ve had dreams enough for one
And I’ve got love enough for three
I have my hopes to comfort me
I’ve got my new horizons out to sea

But I’m never gonna lose your precious gift
It will always be that way
‘Cause I know I’m gonna find my own peace of mind
Someday
Someway

David Justin Hayward

Over two plus years without my Pam, I have had to look for new beginnings, new meanings – new horizons, in hopes of leading a fulfilling remainder of my time here, and honoring the life of an amazing woman with whom I was fortunate enough to be married. I’ve struggled with feelings of loss, anger, sadness, and longing as I mourn Pam’s life lost and my life without her. Is she still in the house with me? Does she go where I go? If I make changes will she still be with me?

After over a year of contemplating a move to be closer to family, I finally made the decision to put my house on the market and move to an apartment close to my son. Literally – a new horizon!

View From the 4th Floor Deck of My Apartment

Among my recent epiphanies is the fact that Pam is with me wherever I go. Though I am reminded by places and things, I am not dependent on them for remembering her nor staying connected. Additionally, I realized that my efforts to resurrect my music in her honor have proved to ingrain her in my playing. It’s not just when I play the songs I wrote for or about her. She is inveterate in all of my music. I constantly feel her with me as I practice and perform. What a gift!

Our world is full of complexity and doubt; doubt for our earth, doubt for our government, doubt for the safety and welfare of our children and grandchildren. I am thankful for new horizons and the hope they inspire. I am thankful for Pam’s inspiration to be all I can be, even after her passing. Another gift!

Thursday would have been Pam’s 73rd birthday. She did not quite make it to her 71st. As with other special calendar events, this one was difficult for me and other family and friends who loved her. We hate the loss. But we are also inspired to flourish in our lives because she wanted the best for us. And so she lives on.

May you find some peace of mind in this knowledge.