Month: April 2020

Papa Bear

Scott Weiss was my friend! I don’t know how many real friends he had, but I didn’t have many growing up – not true friends anyway. I was reminded of Scott while watching TV recently. Here’s how my mind works (Of course, these thoughts surfaced and unfolded in just moments):

Pam and I were watching a fixer upper type program where the design/construction team renovated a house for a couple moving to town. The wife had to look at the properties and choose one with her husband looking at videos from afar. They selected the house without him ever seeing it in person.

This is important because we watched about 50 minutes while the house was renovated before “meeting” the husband. When he showed up for the reveal, he was using what appeared to be a home-made, wooden walking stick, not a cane, to support his walking. I couldn’t tell what medical condition afflicted him. He may have had a stroke.

The walking stick reminded me of the walking stick I’ve had since high school. I made it from a branch collected from a birch tree while walking in Walnut Woods near Des Moines. I broke off the branch at the suggestion of Scott Weiss (Papa Bear) who suggested it would make a good one. I took it home, stripped it, stained it, and coated it with urethane. I still have it. I even used it on a day hike in Glacier National Park in 2002. The center pic below was taken with a 35mm film camera, before I converted to digital. The lake is Grinnell Lake. Check the link to get a different perspective on where we were. Zoom in to see the path we were on.

That got me thinking of Scott. He died from Pancreatic Cancer in 2010. His passing hit me hard. I knew him as Papa Bear though his obituary just calls him “Bear.” Scott and I spent much time together during our high school years. He was 2 years older and went to a different high school, but we were connected through synagogue and youth group. We were both deep searchers and experimented with various religious doctrines, philosophies, and drugs. I remember reading Be Here Now, my first try with lousy Iowa ditch weed, and staying up nights expanding our minds and contemplating the Universe. We mixed Boone’s Farm Strawberry Wine with McDonald’s Strawberry Shakes, mostly to hide the wine. I could go on with many stories of our escapades. Learn a bit more on this on my Songs page where Papa Bear – Ode to Scott Weiss lyrics are posted.

Our lives crossed at various times after marriage and while rearing our children. Just thinking about this brings back fond and fun memories.

Later in life, after he moved to Louisiana, we got together periodically when he came back to Iowa. Unfortunately, it was typically for someone else’s funeral like his Dad’s, or for our mutual friend, Bill “Grouch” Ohringer. We never lost our connection and enjoyed our time together. Scott’s Mom died while I was away on other adventures so I wasn’t around to mourn her passing with him.

So it was not too difficult to write a song in Scott’s honor. But it did take a while and though I have music for the lyrics, the song is challenging for me to play on the guitar and I have not practiced it much nor recorded it. I do have plans to include it on my next album, whenever that happens. Meanwhile, I am posting the lyrics on my Songs page. In my mind It is still a work in progress, but I want to post it while I’m remembering Papa Bear. I still feel his absence whenever I do. Hopefully, you will appreciate its sentiment.

Link to Papa Bear – Ode to Scott Weiss

This Day in History

I’ve been experiencing some disappointment with further developing this blog. Now that it’s up and running, I have a bit of writer’s block trying to figure out what to post next. Though I’ve invited only a few people, those who have signed up to receive posts (thank you!) remain even fewer.

Additionally, I’ve been trying to figure out how to connect This Day in History as an RSS feed, a link that automatically updates from another site. I’ve researched and think I figured out which widget I need on my site. But the History Channel site isn’t intuitive and I haven’t figured it out yet.

But I want to get my readers familiar with this connection that I’ve been enjoying. I first looked it up on April 3rd, Liz’s 40th Birthday. Since that time I’ve been receiving daily updates giving me the highlights for the day. For instance, today is the anniversary of the Great San Francisco Earth Quake of 1906. I’ve been watching a documentary about it.

So…

I hope you enjoy This Day in History as much as I am. You should be able to sign up to get daily email with the highlights. I’ll let you know when I get the RSS feed figured out.

Coffee Cat

Long before my Mill debut (see my “What is Wut Javia?” post), I played my first gig at Coffee Cat in Mason City (MC)  IA. It was while living in MC that my musical awakening began.

I knew Cathy from her student days at NIACC. She opened the coffee house after taking the entrepreneurial program there. Cathy sold Coffee Cat a few years ago after getting a master’s degree in psychology (I think).

Part of her marketing strategy was to host live music by local and up-and-coming artists on Friday nights. Somewhere along the line I saw that a guy named Michael Whisler would be playing a session on Friday night. He was billed as playing 12-string guitar just like Leo Kottke! Kottke has a unique 12-string style using various open tunings to assist his mastery of finger picking and range up and down the fret board!

My wife and I went to listen. I was amazed. Not only did he play Kottke songs flawlessly, his original compositions maintained the same level of complexity and melody. Even his vocals were similar in style to Kottke’s. We stayed for the entire evening. I was so excited and started thinking of preparing to play a set sometime in the future.

We were chatting with Cat while Michael was tearing down his equipment. When I asked him where he was going, he said he was headed home (North Dakota); that he would drive for a while, sleep in the car, and finish tomorrow. I looked at Pam, she nodded, and I asked Michael if he would stay the night with us, offering a meal and a bed. I helped him finish packing up and he followed us home.

After he inhaled leftover smoked ribs and fixings, we went to my office, took out the axes (guitars), and started to jam. Pam went to bed and the next thing I knew it was 2:30 a.m. That was the night I decided to learn how to finger pick my guitar – a huge development after 30 years of strumming!

Now I had a goal! I’d built a repertoire of songs and began to earnestly practice. I recorded my first album Catching Up on Life (at home on simple equipment) and booked a date. I invited a few friends (Cat likes that!) to ensure I wasn’t playing to an empty room – ready to play.

To my surprise, Coffee Cat was full. To my greater surprise, people stayed after I started playing. What a rush! I played for two hours with songs from my album, some of my unpublished songs, and a few songs by those who inspired me including Bob Dylan, (Baby Let Me Follow Down) which he learned from Eric Von Schmidt, Cat Stevens (Where do the Children Play), and Simon and Garfunkel (Only Living Boy in New York).

I had a great time. The positive responses and feedback I received from those who were at Coffee Cat that night, inspired me to continue writing and playing my music. I have enough new songs for a new album + and hope to add more. Eventually, I’ll publish Catching Up on Life on this site. I’ve already posted a couple songs on the Songs page.

A Friend In Need (updated)

“Some of you may know that I have had Diabetes for over 45 years. Although I’ve tried to do a good job in controlling my diabetes the disease has affected my Kidney function. Over the past several years the kidney disease has gotten worse. Last October I was hospitalized with End State Renal Disease (ESRD) with kidney function at 8%. To keep my kidneys functioning and maintaining my life; I am currently receiving dialysis treatment five times a week at home.” Daniel Switalski

April 8, 2020:

Dan corrected my mistake in this post from yesterday (See comments at the bottom of the page. Here’s the correct contact information to contact his specific Living Donor nurse:

“…if interested in more specific information on how to help me, the actual number to call is (414)646-0584. That is a direct line to the transplant living donor nurse coordinator.
Thanks for your consideration!“

April 7, 2020:

Yesterday I invited my good friend Daniel Switalski to visit this site and sign up for updates. He responded immediately, then sent me a copy of an open letter he’d selectively sent out in February asking for interested parties to consider being a live kidney donor for him.

With Dan’s permission, I am posting the entire letter here for you to read. If you call the phone number listed, 855.NFK.CARES (855.653.2273), and mention his name, Dan Switalski, you will be directed as to how to proceed.

Dan is one of those friends that, even when you don’t “talk” for a long time, it’s just like you talked yesterday when you finally do. We had a chance to Zoom this morning. It was great seeing him and catching up on a few things. I learned that Dan is a glass blower this morning and that he’s trying to learn to play a guitar. I already knew about his fly fishing (I’ve done that with him). I also learned that we hold different political views. But it doesn’t matter.

Here is a link to Dan’s Facebook page called My Kidney Story. Dan’s letter is shown below in its entirety.

Dan’s Story

Dear Family and Friends,

Some of you may know that I have had Diabetes for over 45 years. Although I’ve tried to do a good job in controlling my diabetes the disease has affected my Kidney function. Over the past several years the kidney disease has gotten worse. Last October I was hospitalized with End State Renal Disease (ESRD) with kidney function at 8%. To keep my kidneys functioning and maintaining my life; I am currently receiving dialysis treatment five times a week at home.

There are two treatment options for Kidney failure, Dialysis Treatment or Kidney Transplant.

Over the past two months Paula and I have been talking with the Transplant Team at St Lukes Hospital. We received confirmation from the Transplant Team that they are now accepting pre-screening calls for live donor transplant on my behalf. This call was an answer to our prayers. As Kidney transplant is the BEST option available to people like me with Kidney failure.

Receiving a Kidney transplant will provide me with a healthier longer life, allowing me to do the things I know God has in store for me.

Asking a family member or a friend to consider donating a kidney to me is very difficult. But in sharing this with you and you in turn sharing with others allows a means to get my story out and provide a chance for receiving a transplant.

Understandably some people are afraid about the surgery and what living with one kidney will mean. Here’s some basic information about kidney donation:

* You only need one kidney to live a healthy, long life

* Most donor surgery is done laparoscopically, meaning through tiny incisions

* The recuperation period is usually fairly quick, generally two weeks

* The cost of your evaluation and surgery will be covered by my insurance. The hospital will provide extensive information on this

* You will have a separate team of healthcare professionals to evaluate you as a living donor. Their job is to help you understand the risks and benefits and look out to your best interest

You can also learn more about living donation on the National Kidney Foundation (FKF) website: www.kidney.org/livingdonation or by contacting the NKF’s free, confidential helpline at 855.NFK.CARES (855.653.2273) or nkfcares2kidney.org. If you want to talk to someone who’s already donated a kidney, NFK can also help.

We may find during the process that you and I are not a match. That’s okay. A kidney paired donation can occur by using a national network of computers to find a transplant recipient that matches your organ, while they have friends or family that may be a match for me.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. If donating a kidney to me is something you would like to consider, I would be happy to tell you more about my story and explore the process of determining if you are a match for me. You can also contact my transplant center (Jeffrey Klister, RN, BSN) directly at 414. 646.0584.

I know living donation may not be right for everyone – but you can still help. Consider being an organ donor after death.  Also, help me by sharing my story with everyone you know. I want to bring awareness to kidney disease and living donation. I am hopeful my efforts will help me receive a kidney in the near future and encourage others to consider helping the many people on the wait list.

Thank you again for your time in reading my story. – Dan

My Daughter’s 40th

Liz is forty years old today. She was born on April 3, 1980. If I remember correctly it was 2:14 pm. My X and I had been at the hospital since before midnight the night before.

I have not had any interaction with Liz for 19 years, give or take a few days.

So much for statistics. My thoughts and emotions surfaced with increasing frequency and intensity as Liz’s birthday approached. Yet it is difficult to put it all into words.

It happens often. I wrote a song. It was the second song written since my musical awakening (after The Song I Never Wrote for You). It just spilled out. It, too, was intense. The song is intense. It is called Tell Elizabeth I Love Her.

I wanted to name her Beth Ann. I was concerned that someone would start calling her Liz if she was given the more formal Elizabeth. But formality got the win and we called her Beth for her first several years. That is until about 1st or 2nd grade when she decided for herself that she wanted to be called Liz. Damn! So it goes.

Piano, dance, Sunday school. I remember once taking a low-maintenance back road from work, at an unsafe speed, to get home in time to take Liz to a dance lesson. I’m surprised the car didn’t break as it bounced and swerved.

We went camping, saw Yellowstone, the Tetons, Arches, Dinosaur, and Rocky Mountain NP, among other fascinating places. We went to school events. It sure seems like we did all the normal stuff.

But during and after the divorce things never were the same. I moved out of our home on short notice having been given an ultimatum by the X. I tried to explain to the children. But I could never persuade Liz to come for every-other-weekend visits – ever. I made a point to prepare a room for her in my new place. She never saw it.

She kept in contact a few times. She brought her date to see me on her way to a school dance. Once she came to exchange Christmas presents, though I heard she kept the car running while there.

I am keenly aware that her Mother influenced her emotions and often refused to hand Liz the phone when I called. But any semblance of connection ended when Liz went away to college. I went to visit once shortly after she moved into her dorm (we went shopping for pet fish) and again around her 21st Birthday when I asked to bring her a gift. It was an ankle bracelet. I did attend her college graduation. I didn’t think Liz knew I was there, but my son told me later that she did.

“Child’s death, a parent’s nightmare
Children’s lives a parent’s dream
By her choice, her distant absence
I feel the torment in between”

So it goes.